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Catherine Zeta Jones - I can't do it alone
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My sister and I had an act that couldnt flop
My sister and I were headed straight fo the top
My sister and I earned a thou a week at least
Oh, sure!
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased

Oh, I know its sad, of course
But a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect double act!

[spoken]
Roxie, do you know you are exactly the same 
size as my sister? Oh, you would fit in her wardrobe 
perfectly. Look, why dont I just show you some of
the act, huh? Watch this. 

[VELMA dances]

Now you have to imagine
this with two people. 
Its swell with two people.

First Id...(drums!)
Then shed...(saxophone!)
Then wed...(together!)
But I cant do it alone!
Then shed...
Then Id...
Then we...
But I cant do it alone!

Shed say,Whats your sister like?
Id say, Men,
Yuk, Yuk, yuk
Shed say, youre the cats meow
Then wed wow the crowd again
When shed go...
Id go...
Wed go...

And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped and stamped on the floor
Yelling, sreaming, begging for more.

[spoken]
And wed say, O.K. fellas, keep your socks up.
you aint seen nothin yet!

[VELMA dances]

But I simply cannot do it alone!

Well? What did ya think? Come on, you can say.

[ROXIE gives her a raspberry]

O.K., O.K. The first part can always be rewritten.
But the second part was really nifty. Watch this.

Then shed...(See, get it, right?)
Then Id...(Then Id kick really high...)
Then wed...
But I cant do it alone!
Shed say, What states Chicago in?
Id say, ILL!
Did ya get that?
Shed say, Turn your motor off
I can hear em cheerin still
When shed go...
Id go...
Wed go...(Sideways!)
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brown
To cheer the best attraction in town
They nearly tore the balcony down

[spoken]
And wed say. O.K. fellas, O.K., 
were goin home, but heres a few more partin shots!
And this... this we did in perfect unison.

[VELMA dances]

Now, youve seen me goin through it
It may seem theres nothin to it
But I simply cannot do it 
Alone!

[ROXIE turns her down]

Like the deserted bride on her wedding night
All alone and shaking with fright
With her brand new hubby nowhere in sight
I simply cannot do it alone...