she said to me, over the phone she wanted to see other people
i thought, "well then, look around, they're everywhere"
said that she was confused...
i thought, "darling, join the club"
24 years old, mid-life crisis nowadays hits you when you're young
i hung up, she called back, i hung up again
the process had already started... at least it happened quick
i swear, i died inside that night
my friend, he called i didn't mention a thing... the last thing he said was, "be sound"
sound...
i contemplated an awful thing, i hate to admit
i just thought those would be such appropriate last words
but i'm still here and small...so small.. how could this struggle seem so big?
so big...
while the palms in the breeze still blow green and the waves in the sea still absolute blue
but the horror ...
every single thing i see is a reminder of her
never thought i'd curse the day i met her ...
and since she's gone and wouldn't hear ...who would care?
what good would that do?
but i'm still here
so i imagine in a month...or 12 i'll be somewhere having a drink laughing at a stupid joke
or just another stupid thing
and i can see myself stopping short drifting out of the present
sucked by the undertow and pulled out deep ...
and there i am, standing wet grass and white headstones all in rows ....
and in the distance there's one, off on its own
so i stop, kneel... my new home...
and i picture a sober awakening,
a re-entry into this little bar scene:
sip my drink til the ice hits my lip
order another round
and that's it for now
sorry....
never been too good at happy endings...
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