Front step cha cha cha Back step cha cha cha Side step front step back and turn
Oh my god, Penny there's Link... Link I can't believe I'm really here auditioning I cant believe I'm really here watching you audition
Front step cha cha cha Back step cha cha cha Side step front step back and oh.. Amber look at this motly crew Oh this town's sure gone down hill since I was crowned Miss...
Oh mother, not more ancient history
Oh my God how times have changed These girls must be blind or completely deranged but time seem to halt When I was Miss Baltimore Crabs
Amber, that move is far too dirty Mother, wake up from that dream of yours, this isn't 1930
You can laugh but life's a test don't do this don't do that Remember mother knows best But the crown's in vault from when I won Miss Baltimore Crabs
These steps are perfect ammunition Let me show you how your Mommy dear took out the competion
Girls go get them, boys lets rumba 1,2,3,4,5,6,7
Those poor runner-ups Might still hold some grudges They padded their 'cups' But I screwed the judges Those broads thought they'd win If a plate they would spin in their dance Not a chance!
Boys put me down ! Oh good morning ladies lets see what you got
Twist Twist Twist Twist Mashed potato Mambo Ready Begin
On my show you'll never find A thrusting hip or bump or grind Whats that a dance for fleas and ticks ohh you should of seen my bag of tricks
ohh I hit the stage Batons ablaze While belting Aida And preparing souffles! But that triple somersault Was how I clinched "Miss Baltimore Crabs"!
Proceed... Are you scared we're on live? No, I'm sure I can cope! Well, this show isn't broadcast in......Cinemascope! I never drank one chocolate malt no desserts for Miss Baltimore Crabs
This one will never get a date In those hand-me-down clothes Ha.. Kid she'll never get a date 'til daddy buys her a new nose I would say Oy Gevalt If I wasn't Miss Baltimore Crabs
Do you dance like you dress Amber there's no need to be cruel Would you swim in an integrated pool?
I sure would. I'm all for integration, it's The New Frontier!
Not in Baltimore it isn't! And may I be frank?
First impressions can be tough And when I saw you, I knew it If your size weren't enough Your last answer just blew it!
And so, my dear, so short and stout You'll never be in So we're kicking you out
With your form and your face oh well it isn't your fault You're just down with a case of Miss BALTIMORE CRABS
Eh, you may go. Um, thank you. I think they secretly liked you.
May I please audition? Of course not, but you may bow and exhalt, Cause I am MISS BALTIMORE CRABS
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