Mark: And so into the abyss...The lot. Where a small stage is partially set up.
Joanne: (playing with some wires) "Line in"... I went to Harvard for this?
Mark: Close on Mark's nose dive.
Joanne: "Line out"...
Mark: Will he get out of here alive...?
(Joanne notices Mark approaching)
Joanne: Mark?
Mark: Hi.
Joanne: I told her not to call you
Mark: That's Maureen But can I help since I'm here
Joanne: I've hired an engineer ...
Mark: Great! Well, nice to have met you...
Joanne: Wait! She's three hours late The samples won't delay But the cable --
Mark: There's another way Say something -- anything
Joanne: Test -- one, two three --
Mark: Anything but that
Joanne: This is weird
Mark: It's weird
Joanne: Very weird
Mark: Fuckin' weird
Joanne: I'm so mad That I don't know what to do Fighting with microphones Freezing down to my bones And to top it all off I'm with you
Mark: Feel like going insane? Got a fire in your brain? And you're thinking of drinking gasoline?
Joanne: As a matter of fact --
Mark: Honey, I know this act It's called the 'Tango Maureen' The Tango Maureen It's a dark, dizzy merry-go-round As she keeps you dangling
Joanne: You're wrong
Mark: Your heart she is mangling
Joanne: It's different with me
Mark: And you toss and you turn 'Cause her cold eyes can burn Yet you yearn and you churn and rebound
Joanne: I think I know what you mean
Both: The Tango Maureen
Mark: Has she ever pouted her lips And called you 'Pookie'
Joanne: Never!
Mark: Have you ever doubted a kiss or two?
Joanne: This is ... spooky Did you swoon when she walked through the door?
Mark: Every time -- so be cautious
Joanne: Did she moon over other boys --?
Mark: More than moon --
Joanne: I'm getting nauseous (They begin to dance, with Mark leading)
Mark: Where'd you learn to tango?
Joanne: With the French Ambassador's daughter in her dorm room at Miss Porter's. And you?
Mark: With Nanette Himmelfarb, the Rabbi's daughter at the Scarsdale Jewish Community Center.
(They switch, and Joanne leads)
It's hard to do this backwards.
Joanne: You should try it in heels! She cheated
Mark: She cheated
Joanne: Maureen cheated
Mark: Fuckin' cheated
Joanne: I'm defeated I should give up right now
Mark: Gotta look on the bright side With all of your might
Joanne: I'd fall for her still anyhow
Both: When you're dancing her dance You don't stand a chance Her grip of romance Makes you fall
Mark: So you think, "Might as well'
Joanne: "Dance a tango to hell"
Both: "At least I'll have tangoed at all" The Tango Maureen Gotta dance till your diva is through You pretend to believe her Cause in the end -- you can't leave her But the end it will come Still you have to play dumb Till you're glum and you bum And turn blue
Mark: Why do we love when she's mean?
Joanne: And she can be so obscene
Mark: Try the mike
Joanne: My Maureen (reverb: een, een, een..)
Mark: Patched
Joanne: Thanks
Mark: You know -- I feel great now!
Joanne: I feel lousy
(The pay phone rings. Joanne answers) Honey, we're... (pause) Pookie?! You never call me Pookie... Forget it, we're patched.
(She hangs up, looks at MARK)
Both: The Tango Maureen!
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