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For hearing all my doubts so selectively and For continuing my numbing love endlessly For helping you and myself, not even considering For beating myself up and over functioning To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been cruller than I've been to me For letting you decide if I indeed was desirable For myself love being so embarrassingly conditional And for denying myself to somehow make us compatible And for trying to fit a rectangle into a ball To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been cruller than I've been to me I'm sorry to myself My apologies begin here before everybody else I'm sorry to myself For treating me worse than I would anybody else For blaming myself for your unhappiness And for my impatience when I was perfect, where I was Ignoring all the signs that I was not ready And expecting myself to be where you wanted me to be To whom do I owe the first apology? No one's been cruller than I've been to me And I'm sorry to myself My apologies begin here before everybody else I'm sorry to myself For treating me worse than I would anybody else Well, I wonder which crime is the biggest? Forgetting you or forgetting myself Had I heeded the wisdom of the latter I would've naturally loved the former For ignoring you, my highest voices For smiling when my strife was all too obvious For being so disassociated from my body And for not letting go when it would've been the kindest thing To whom do I owe the biggest apology? No one's been crueler than I've been to me And I'm sorry to myself My apologies begin here before everybody else I'm sorry to myself For treating me worse than I would anybody else I'm sorry to myself My apologies begin here before everybody else I'm sorry to myself For treating me worse than I would anybody else
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